Monday, December 14, 2009

Mummy's Voice: Last days of having AYDEN in me...

Contradicting as ever... ...

Finally the wait is almost over. If nothing goes wrong, we will be seeing Baby Ayden in just a day's time. Certainly hope that Ayden has not become too big to deliver naturally for me.

While I am blogging now, Ayden is moving around in me now...
Soon I will have to start Ayden's Blog too...i really wonder if I can keep up with it in future.

This pregnancy feels so different from the first one.
There are times I feel so guilty to little Ayden in me... ...

I felt I have so little time to really enjoy Little Ayden in me, to observe how you are and when Asher occasionally hits my tummy or sleep on it accidentally, I feel so bad for Ayden... ...
There are so many things I have to do on my own...carrying this up and down etc and sometimes they are heavy...and also the times when I had to carry Baby Asher you....all these I hope it didnt hurt your little brother, Ayden while he is in me.

I am skeptical about my ability to care for Ayden as well as I had cared for you, Asher...especially in the current environment and space etc...and things havent been the way we wanted it to be...but daddy & mummy are still trying hard...

I am skeptical about how long I can last to breastfeed you Ayden....whether I can do it at least as long as I did for your kor kor Asher...

Asher...and for you, I am upset that Other than mummy, no one else even daddy is trying to follow what mummy wants to do for you...it makes teaching and learning inconsistent for you...just like sleeping patterns etc...

just like what happened this morning...
why why why...

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