my hubby

my hubby... ...


to most people, a man of few words
the direct opposite of me who to most it may seem, is always the chatty one...who cant seem to stop talking...sharing...

well, maybe.


but to me, my hubby is...
I know for sure a good man.
BUT not a good boyfriend, neither a good husband..maybe a good father he will be.


Having had a "non-existence" father, an incomplete family since childhood, I have always knew what is important to me when it comes to choosing my man for my lifetime.


he doesnt have to be wealthy, becos I know I can earn my own $$, I can be financially independent.

he doesnt have to be damn good looking, becos charisma, character & personality to me are more important

he doesnt have to be a high flyer becos I know that doesnt determine he will be a good man

he doesnt have to be highly educated becos I know it is the communication and frequency of thoughts and our common objectives that count.

knowing my hubby is quite a 'wooden block", I was prepared to "teach" him how to love me..

I was prepared that it takes time and efforts.
BUT what i have come to realised is that even after 10 years, it seemed worse than ever. And how many more 10 years do I have to wait?

He doesnt do things I like, He doesnt try to love the stuffs I love...

He doesnt even buy me the food I am craving for(be it a surprise for me or not, though I would love to be surprised, which girl doesnt?), despite my repeated mentioning.

He doesnt even plan dates to take us out every now and then

He doesnt even bother to do things to make me happy when I am sad...but then maybe....

he probably doesnt even know when i am unhappy.

..... ...... ..... ..... ......maybe the list can go on.... .... .... .... ..... ..... ......

I dont feel loved, I dont feel his care and I dont feel his concern.


BUT he is a good man.

A good homely, faithful man, who comes home after work and in between work, whenever whatever free time he may have.


BUT is this the man I wanted for my lifetime?

We were supposed to grow old together, upkeep with each other's changes as we grow and move into the different stages of our lives

Has he stopped growing with me?
Or
Am I the one who has changed too much, too fast?
But I am certain I havent changed any bit...or rather my expectations hasnt changed....

Isnt it so that when you love someone, you want him/her to be happy?

I know I am not happy and I want to be happy.

Is not to have hopes the only way?
No hopes, no expectations, thus no disappointment?