The Kelong Trip Sep 2009
the plan:
Grandpa and Grandma wants to go for 10 days and would like to bring you, Baby Asher along.
Mummy had felt bad for the last 2 times that they had asked to bring you along in Jan and Jun, but both times, Mummy kept you by my side..so this time round, I have to let you go.
In Jan, I was still breastfeeding you. So naturally since I can't go, you have to stay with me.
In Jun, Mummy wanted to bring you along for the gathering planned by Auntie Tricia and the dates clashed, so you didnt go with grandpa and grandma too...
But this time round, I have to go with you nevertheless, as I simply can't bear the thought of being separated from you (at this stage) for 10 solid days!!
So last minute, after renewing my passport, I bought the ferry ticket to join you and grandpa,grandma and Aunt Lijun & family... ...but instead of full 10 days, Mummy will return to SG, to Daddy after 5 days, together with Aunt Lijun and family... ...
18th Sep 09: the day we leave for Kelong...
Mummy felt bad leaving Daddy all alone here in SG. Furthermore he must have miss fishing and going to the kelong sooOoooOo much.
Daddy called while we were at the ferry terminal...mummy cried... ... so emotional huh..
5 days at the Kelong with you, baby Asher was tiring for mummy....
because... .... maybe because Daddy wasn't around.
it's lonely here for mummy without daddy...
it's not just physically but mentally tiring to have to do without daddy when I am with you...
which no words can describe the helplessness and loneliness I felt at those many moments...
but i am happy to see you enjoy the trip.
the excitement you showed when grandpa showed you the fireworks....
the fun you had at the beach...
the kampong experience which you had to go through without TV totally at all since the player was down
the pee & poo trials wihout wearing your diapers...
the refusal by you with your shrieks to go down to the sea when grandpa carry you down during low tide...
the first time you get to see LIVE roosters, hens and chicks...you run after them
the total darkness you experience during night time...
..... ..... .....
the last 2 days before mummy leave you, i kept telling you that mummy will be going back first and you will be here without mummy, just grandpa and grandma andyou must be a good boy,ok? Your reply was always "OK"... ... it pleased me kind of, though I didnt know if you really understood...
soon 5 days were over....it is time for mummy to leave you and go back to daddy, go back to SG
22nd Sep 09 Tue：The day I was to leave you Asher & return to daddy in SG
Over lunch, I told your grandma:
“真惨。 来时，想老公， 回时， 想儿子。”
it was a contradicting thought.
on one hand, i was worried you will be crying when you see me leave without you...i dont want you to be sad.
on the other hand, of course I would hope that you will miss me...
But rationally, I had to let my brain rule my heart.
you not missing me, will be better for you.
when I was leaving the Kelong, as I carried you in my arms, repeatedly telling you that i am just going return to daddy a few days earlier than you and you will be here with Grandpa and Grandma for a few days more etc and you promise to be good etc...Ok? And just like before your answer was "OK". and as I carried you, you laid your head right next to my neck, on top of my shoulder.....and you even "patted" my back....as if telling me "mummy, it is ok. I will be fine, don't cry and dont worry about me..." Am i too imaginative??
Well, i got into the car together with Aunt Lijun & family...while you wave goodbye to me, tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably again...
they were a family in the car, but I was alone.
it felt bad. really bad. the kind of empty loneliness.
i tried not to think about you...but think about seeing daddy recieving me at the terminal....
in just 2 hours' time....mummy will see daddy! he wont be alone anymore.
and i tried to be rational about you being away from me for the next few days...
thinking of getting more things done in your absence baby asher...
planning the errands to run and the stuffs to complete before you return...
5, 6 days....ain't short....though not long too...
and now as I am writing this blog...it is 4.51pm 27th Sep.
tommorrow night I will be seeing you le!!!! ;D
and you know what, mummy is sooOoooo looking forward to it!!
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